First, a random post I stumbled upon that has some helpful ideas for perfectionists:
Also, cultivate the mindset of what I call compassionate objectivity, which is the opposite of perfectionism. Perfectionism is harsh and punishing and reductive, but compassionate objectivity is the voice of the inner kind and wise adult who adds perspective by looking at the whole situation. For instance, “Okay, so I didn’t get an A on that paper. That’s disappointing. But why did it happen? Well, I was sick for part of the time, and really worried about some stuff going on with my relationship. Also, the instructions for the paper were really unclear I really should have checked in with my teacher, and I’ll be sure to do that next time. And maybe I’ll go get some counseling to help me cope with the relationship.
Note how the compassionately objective person is not giving herself a pass: she clearly identifies her mistakes and makes a plan for improvement. But she dispenses with the guilt, shame, blame, regret and remorse that mires the perfectionist.
Second, Greta writes about her depression, and includes a coping strategy that I really like:
When I’m in a depressive stretch of my life, I have to make managing my depression pretty close to my top priority. And among other things, this means that if I have any impulse at all to do something that alleviates the depression, I do it if I possibly can. If I have any impulse at all to go to the gym, to get outside, to socialize, to write, to masturbate, to get a manicure, to read for pleasure… I do it if I can.
Third, Cliff Pervocracy talks about what you can learn from kinky/poly/queer relationships, even if you are none of those things. The post is long but hilarious and you should read the whole thing, but I’ll tease you with a bit of intro:
But the things I want to share with you aren’t really about having kinky sex or having multiple partners, because, y’know, you’re wired for that or you’re not. I don’t think you can learn it. A lot of people just aren’t wired for it and that’s okay. What I do want everyone to learn is the philosophies that the people who do these things have developed. When your sex doesn’t follow the traditional model to begin with, you have to – well, at least you should—put some extra thought into what you’re doing, and a lot of really good ideas have come from that. That’s what I want to share. Because whether you’re into latex Boy Scout Uniforms or not, you can still learn to experience sex as being made of possibilities and choices. Whether you want to have twelve lovers or just the one, you can still learn to build relationships instead of just letting them happen.
And finally, random science that is awesome, because sometimes I just can’t help myself from linking Ed Yong:
Last year, Todd Schlenke from Emory University in Atlanta showed that the fruit fly Drosophila melanogaster uses alcohol as medicine. Like many insects, these flies are targeted by parasitic wasps that lay eggs in their bodies. To stop the newly hatched wasps from devouring them alive, the fly larvae consume alcohol at toxic levels. This kills many of the wasp grubs and causes crippling deformities in the survivors. But the flies, which live in a naturally boozy world fermenting fruit, have evolved to handle their drink. They suffer few side effects from their unusual medicine.
I may post something myself today, or I may not… need to get out and see the city! But either way, enjoy the links–happy reading!